March 10, 1998
5:22 a.m.
 I've been itching to move into something different for the past week or so, and I think that's healthy. I've been surprised by the feeling, actually. I don't write to many deadlines at this point in my career, so I can usually let something lie if it's not coming along smoothly. But the gangster thing (titled "How Things Really Work") drug on, and after a point my subconscious got tired of working on it and the future pulled at me. I can't explain it any differently. I've felt this before. But the anchor of a deadline really brought it out for me to examine. You see, I give little weight to my past stories. They are just things I did some time ago. Even seeing them in print for the first time is not overly thrilling. After all, with long publication times, those tales can be a couple years old for me. I judge myself primarily by what I'm working on now and what I'll be working on tomorrow. Yeah, occasionally I'll read something I wrote a year or two ago and give myself some credit, but these things don't pull at me like the story I want to write next. They don't thrill me. Subconsciously, I've been done with "How Things Really Work" for a week or more. It ran past the deadline I had set, but it was the most important/urgent item on my plate so I overrode my natural tendency to move on. I felt tomorrow's pull and gave myself permission to spend whatever time was necessary to achieve a decent story. It really wasn't that hard. I trusted myself. This is good. I think it's important to know when you've done something positive, and to reward yourself for it. I am getting to know myself, getting to understand the feeling of my body chemistry when it wants to move, and finding ways to ensure I stick around for long enough to do my personal best with the task at hand. Now I'm ready for something different. I wonder what I'll write? I've had several ideas floating around. Guess I'll just go mine the ether for awhile and see what I come up with. In the meantime, I have critiquing to do for others (Fishers 5 and some e-mail friends). So that'll take up the next day or two. ConFabulation is this coming weekend, so I'll be in Bloomington this Saturday. Looks like I'll be doing two panels and a workshop session on what to expect on a first sale. The convention is a small one, but cozy. It'll be in the Bloomington Convention Center, unlike the last one. If you're in the area, please stop by! Gordon Van Gelder sent me a prompt and very nicely worded rejection yesterday. He always comments specifically on my stories, and from what I hear from others, this is his normal mode of operation. How does he do it, I wonder? How does he read all those stories in enough depth to comment like he does, and still manage to get anything else done? When you think about it, editors are pretty incredible people. Well, this one was a hodge-podge of ideas. Hope you found something here worth your while!  Daily Persistence is © Ron Collins |
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"Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live." Johan Wolfgang von Goethe |
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