October 20, 1998
5:34 a.m.
Things move slowly on the story I'm writing. The pace is slow because of a couple things, I think.  First, I don't feel like I'm starting in the right place(s). I've had three fitful starts where I've gone about three pages into the story and then decided I don't like it. So I tear it up and I start afresh. I do this fairly often--and it means I throw away a lot of words in the end. But the stories are always better for it. Second, I've been really tired ever since coming back from LA. Heck, I even took a NAP Sunday. Still, I'm tired. And this manifests itself in shorter attention spans. Of course, it's also linked to the first problem! Despite all the support I get from Lisa and Brigid, and all the wonderful e-mail from folks like you, writing is very solitary and often intimidating in practice. You fill a blank screen with words. Your words. Everything is up to you. And when the words don't look good to you, it's your fault. And when they don't look good to an editor, it's your fault, too. And when they don't look good to a reader, it's especially your fault. So, occasionally, when I get a story like this one--where I want it to be beautiful, and where the thing is coming together at a glacial pace--it's easy to let tension creep into my chest and begin to think that maybe I'll never get another story finished to my satisfaction. If you read this journal regularly, you know I don't believe in writer's block. Writer's block is an excuse for not putting words on paper, regardless of how bad they are. So don't get me wrong, I don't have writer's block. Words are flowing. I just don't like them, and so it feels like they're getting backed up when in reality things are moving just fine. If I let it, this situation can be quite frustrating. But when Brigid is facing a mound of homework, I tell her to just concentrate on the next problem, and then the next. And before you know it, the pile doesn't look so intimidating. So I'm down here in the basement, practicing what I preach, plugging away regardless of how many times I have to start, or how many rewrites it takes. And I know I'll get somewhere soon. This is just the way it works sometimes.   Received payment and a request for more biographical info from the Writers of the Future folks. So all news is not bad, eh? Happy Birthday, Diana! Congratulations to Toby Buckell, who has just made his first professional sale!  Daily Persistence is © Ron Collins |
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