Do I Have Writer's Block?
October 22, 1998
4:54 a.m.
Do I have writer's block? More than one person reading this journal has suggested to me that I am suffering a form of writer's block, and I won't argue with them. I will, however, disagree. The difference in our opnions is in the definition of "block" we both use, and the way we view the outside world. Neither of us is wrong, of course. First, let me say that I really appreciate your comments about it, and the concern that those comments carry. They mean a lot to me. What follows is not meant to be an argument, okay? It's not meant to say you're right or wrong. It's just me putting thoughts down and trying to understand how I think. Lucky you, eh? So with that, let me start by stating what I believe is the "writer's block" side. The writer's block folks say that if you're not producing or finishing, then you're blocked, and that this type of behavior can be created by one of a multitude of things--outside jobs, lack of sleep, too many things to do, lack of "down time", our inner critiquer. If that's your definition, then I'll give you the existence of writers block. But I think of it differently. Yes, I see outside jobs and lack of sleep. And I see to do lists, and I see burnout. And I certainly understand the little guy in your head that says "That's not good enough." But when I choose to spend 12 hours at work one day, that's my choice--not writer's block. When I decide to work in the yard, or to sleep late, that's not writer's block. That's me choosing how I'll live my life. When I choose to get up early, regardless of the time I've had to sleep, and that results in me being less efficient, that's not writer's block--it's me accepting a reduced capacity of my "Manuscript Factory" (per the L. Ron Hubbard workshop). Throwing away words is something I've always done. It's like going to the mall and shopping for clothes. I walk through the aisles and pick out clothes I think might look good on me, then I try them on for size. This is me trying on ideas for size. And it's me struggling through a period where I'm tired and where I've got a bit to do at work. And it's me trying to push out a story that's not quite ready. If that's writer's block to some folks, I've got no problem with that. But I have to say that I have a hard time with producing 500-1000 words an hour and calling it writer's block. Yesterday, I took a step back from the story I've been trying to write. Instead of forcing this one, how's about I strike a glancing blow at something else? So I looked at a different story--went back to one I wasn't real happy with from before. And I saw weaknesses. I put a fix in here, and I added description there. More words. Perhaps a bit of internal dialog. And the fire burned inside me for this story again. Yeah, it's just a rewrite. But I liked it, and I saw why it wasn't working--for me, at least. So I've fixed it and now it can go back out into that cold world again. And I've learned a lesson that I, of course, already knew but had just forgotten. Stories come at their own pace sometimes, and I've been pushing on the one that wasn't ready. So, is that writer's block or is it just a lack of self-awareness of my status and what I needed to do as a writer, an inability to move myself to a different project that needed the skillset I was prepared to give rather than dwelling on a project that needed something I'm not geared up to provide? Is it a disease or was it a choice? I don't know. My opinion is that is was just a bad choice, and that I've made it better by choosing again. Of course, I'm still tired. [grin]  Daily Persistence is © Ron Collins |
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"Holding out and holding in, Yeah you're working, building a mystery and choosing so carefully." Sarah McLachlan |
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