... rejection from F&SF ...
February 23, 1999
9:39 p.m.
I'm going through one of those times in life where I'm missing things. I'm forgetting to take care of stuff that I shouldn't forget. Like I forgot to take all the trash out Monday morning, and now we're stuck with having double trash next week. I forgot to bring home laundry Monday, and so today I had to wear my own clothes (Cummins has a casual uniform policy at work that is actually quite nice in that the clothes look pretty nice, and you don't have to do the danged laundry so often). I had an Executive Committee meeting for Brigid's school, and actually drove half-way home while I was thinking about what we were going to talk about, then realized I had missed the turn off some moments back and ended up being five or ten minutes late to the meeting. I have this tendency, you see, to keep piling stuff up on my plate until I can't manage to get them all done. And then I expect to do them. It's how I'm as productive as I am. I don't do well without a deadline, and if I don't have deadlines in front of me, I will find enough stuff to do to give myself them. But when I start missing things, I know I've gone too far. The problem, of course, is that I can't find a way to remove all those deadlines from myself without feeling like I'm a failure. Am I sick or what? So, this morning, what do I do? I start piddling around with my Web Site, looking at new designs. Jeeze. Like I need another three or four week project. But, still, I wasted a couple hours on it when I could have been starting this other story I've been letting simmer in my mind for the past day or two. Or I could have critiqued the story that I still owe a few words on. Or I could have actually forced myself to come up with a damned TITLE for the last story I wrote -- which is a perfectly fine story except for the lack of a TITLE. Have I mentioned how fond I am of titles lately? I hate wasting time. I think wasting time is the worst offence I can make against myself. A writer's time is all he has, you know? And there were a lot better things to do with it than playing with a site design that doesn't have to change, even if I AM getting tired of it. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about it. I guess, in the end, I'll just have to get off my whiney butt and make something good happen tomorrow. I guess I'll have to push myself to make up the time. Maybe I'll steal a few hours of sleep somewhere. I don't know. I hate it when I'm indecisive about how I'm going to spend my time. ... but I'll spare you that rant until I've got more time to write it.  Daily Persistence is © Ron Collins |
|
"Writing is neither fun nor meditative for me, it's actually a lot like trying to saw off my own leg. It takes a long time and really hurts." Myke Cole |
BACK TO 
|