On Being a Task Master
November 9, 1999
6:25 a.m.
So, I've been through the prologue and chapter one of my last book. Overall, I'm pretty pleased with it. Yes, there are sections I'm rewriting. But the flow, so far, remains pretty good. Hopefully, this pattern will hold.  I think it will--after all, I did spend quite a decent chunk of time in plotting the thing. We'll see. I see I've created a bit of a stir around the NAW with my finding time to write entry. To be honest, I'm torn about this. I don't mean to be a task master, and I don't mean to say any one else should do what I do. I'm just reporting thoughts and processes. We all write in whatever ways we can, or choose to. Earlier this weekend, I was talking (I think) to Chiara and Caroline. If my memory is right, Chiara said that she thought my getting up so early was really great. Now, I know what she meant. She meant it as a compliment, and I take it as one. But, I replied differently at the time. "No," I said. "It's not great. It's painful, and horrible, and--on the whole--really not a very good time. But I do it because that's the only time I have." Chiara and Caroline both nodded, hopefully taking it in the context in which it was meant. This meshes in really well with a commentary that I'm going through with e-mail to the last WotF group. Some folks are commenting on the difficulty they are having producing since the event, a difficulty I completely agree with and have even felt and suffered through a bit. It sounds similar to some of the folks that have gone through Clarion, too. The key, I said, is to realize that this writing thing is supposed to be fun. If you're not having fun, then you should step back and reassess what you're doing. There's nothing that says being a writer is mandatory. In fact, I can think of a lot of things that are just as honorable to be doing, and are a lot easier. And there's no required schedule of events, either, nothing to say that you must be selling books or stories today, or next week, or next year. In the WotF e-mail discussion, Scott Nicholson suggested that I am as positive as I am because I like myself as a person. I like that. And I agree with it. I make a lot of mistakes, and get embarrassed a lot. But one of my most important skills is that I give myself a lot of forgiveness. I know what I was trying to do, and if I fall short, I let the fact that I had good intentions give me the right to let go of that stifling guilt or anger that gets in the way of making further progress. This is important to a new writer. If you get upset that you didn't make your goal, well, give yourself a different goal--then give yourself a reward for realizing you needed another goal. Then, when you hit that goal, give yourself another reward. Whether you write in a totally structured environment like me, or a really chaotic one like Vera, the only thing that really makes any difference is that you find a way, over extended time, to keep working and to feel good about what you're doing. I met a park ranger at Kentucky's Mammoth Caves, once. He was an old guy with a lined face, and crystal blue eyes. He wore his rangers cap pulled flat on his head, and he mad jokes with kids, scaring them with light tales of bats and stuff like that. After one of his dry jokes, he said something that I want to always remember. "A job you can't have fun with ain't worth having." I think that when you're happy with who you are, your writing is better. So, if you want to write, you set up your life to write. For me, it's early morning. For Vera, it's whenever. For Mike Resnick, it's late night. For Lisa Silverthorne, it's evenings. If you want to be a writer, it doesn't matter when you write--only that you do. Do me a favor, though, okay? If, over a reasonable period of time, you can see progress toward that goal then give yourself a tangible reward for it. Whatever makes you happy will do. Sit and watch a sunset. Write something frivolous. Play with you kid, or significant other, or just do a danged crossword puzzle. Veg out in front of the TV, or go shop, or ride a go-kart. Make yourself realize you've done something good. When you get back to the keyboard, you'll feel a lot better. Many Thanks to Shannon Wendt for her award   So, what are you saying? Daily Persistence is © Ron Collins |
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"We see our work as a vocation, with the potential to be as rich and enlightening as the priesthood." Anne Lamott |
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