Finding Character
February 23, 2000
6:58 a.m.
My experience, which only holds for me (of course), is that when I'm struggling with a story, it means I have not yet found the characters. When I find the characters I find the story. That's where I am today. And the problem is actually a bit more complicated. I have a character for this story. And that's the problem. I have one character completely dominating my thought. The other is tiny in comparison. But in order to make this story work, I know I need the second (at least) to be equally fleshed out. So I've spent the morning doing my best to stay in her viewpoint. I think about her when I'm getting coffee. I think about her when I'm writing a pseudo scene--you know, generally senseless words not meant for publication, but written only to get the blood pumping. Why did I pick her? What does she bring to the story? What makes her interesting to me? I say all this with the full understanding that I'll probably have to do it again with a third character. Sometimes I think people get to this part of being a writer and get terribly frustrated. And if it lasts for a bit, I can easily fall into that trap, too. But this part is the fun part, you know? Inventing. Possibilities. What do I want to make this story about? What strikes me? Sometimes I still get the question "Why do you write?" Usually, I answer with something fairly pat. "It makes me a better person." "I enjoy it." If I knew that maybe I wouldn't do it!" But this process is a part of it, too. I enjoy looking inside myself to see what's there. I like the introspection. I like questioning myself about how I think, why I think. I enjoy constructing these people and these worlds. I like the new understanding that the process gives me. Writing a story often seems to be a lot like psychoanalysis. When I'm done with one that's close to me, I feel all wrung out, and I look at the result and walk away with a firmer understanding of the issues I've struggled with because I've been down deep inside them--because I've been there with the people inside my stories. Not all of them are that earth shaking. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. But this story feels like it's going to be important if to no one else but me.   By the end of the morning, I think I've got her. She's young. Young outside, young inside, but trying so hard to be grown. She's afraid inside where she lets no one else go. And I know what she's afraid of--which Nancy Kress says can be used to fuel entire novels . . . ... and who am I to argue with Nancy Kress, eh?  Never Stopped You Before Daily Persistence is © Ron Collins |
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