Hall of Fame
March 13, 2000
7:02 a.m.
Ramblings . . . We watched VH-1's replay of a bunch of folks being inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame last night. When that was done, we got sucked into the Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young Legends show, and then their Storytellers episode. Artists with a body of work are interesting people. These are all folks that grew up and lived their lives in the public eye. They are all folks that have lost a little of that thing people seem fixed upon calling "talent". I mean, with the exception of Bonnie Raitt, and maybe James Taylor, they all sounded a bit different than they once did. Still, you can't help but watch them playing, watch them doing what they love to do, and feeling a sense of power. I can't, anyway. For me that sense of power transcends any edge they might have lost. It makes things different. At the end of the Hall of Fame show, VH-1 played Eric Clapton singing "Tears in Heaven," and Bonnie Raitt singing "I Can't Make You Love Me, If You Don't" (with Bruce Hornsby on the piano, I might add). Two very simple songs. Two very complex human beings with history behind them. Every phrase meant something. Every close of the eyes. Every expression. I wasn't thinking of talent, or craft, or structure, or whatever. I was thinking about love of the job. Love of the moment. Love of putting yourself into what you do. Yes, maybe it's easier when you're "successful." But that part didn't seem to matter much last night. If you can't tell, I've really been struggling with my work the past few weeks. I've been frustrated at not getting anything really finished. I've started cutting things I wanted to get done--never a good sign for me. But last night I watched people doing what they loved to do, and found it totally exhilarating. That's what I feel like when things are going right. And that's how I want to judge my "success." Sometimes, I forget, you know? Sometimes I get wrapped up in "success = sales" mumbo jumbo that starts to get really complicated really fast. Success = doing what you love. If I didn't love it, why do it? I would like to report that I came downstairs this morning with renewed vigor, and pounded out a Nebula-quality story. But that didn't really happen, so I can't. Instead, I went back and looked at my body of work. I've done some good stuff, you know? Not enough, of course. Not anything you need to be considering me for the SF Hall of Fame for or anything. I looked at my recent work and realized that I didn't know how I feel about it. It's good stuff. Don't get me wrong. But something felt off. I haven't been enjoying the process very much lately, and sitting down here this morning, I think the problem is that I haven't been stretching myself enough. I've been stuck in "learn" mode for a very long time...always learning...always trying to understand. And since the January Dare has been done, I've felt kind of lost when I sit down here. And the more I think about it, the more I feel confident that I understand the answer. The answer is tied to these people with a body of work. I wish I understood it well enough to put it in words here. But all I can say is that I felt better after having watched these people doing what they do.  Get to work, Ron Daily Persistence is © Ron Collins |
|
You can never entirely stop being what you once were. That's why it's important to be the right person today, and not put it off till tomorrow. Larry Wall |
BACK TO 
|