Mass Programs
May 2, 2000
5:58 a.m.
Lisa held an article out of the paper for me the other day. She does that, you know? I used to read the paper, or at least most of it. But there's so little time anymore that I often find myself leaving entire sections (or entire editions) untouched. So Lisa held out an article on the earth's mass. It seems that scientists have recalculated the earth's mass, an act that has reduced it from 5.978 sextillion tons to 5.972 sextillion tons (just add 18 zeros to the end of the numbers you already see and you've got it). The trick, they found, was focused on a recalculation of the figure they used for gravity. This works out to a reduction of about 0.1%. This is obviously good news for everyone out there who is conscious of their weight -- heck, a person with 200 pounds mass drops a full .2 pounds. Okay, maybe mass and weight are two different things. But my only real question in the whole thing is whether Bill Clinton will beat Al Gore to claiming the reduction as a result of their Slimming of America initiative. Which, of course, will have republican's scratching their heads, tightening their belt straps, and wondering why they hadn't thought of it. Heck, one of them will probably introduce a mass cut bill to formally reduce the value of gravity by an extra 5% (to give the American "middle" class some real relief). Democrats will respond by warning against going any farther. "We do't want to make thin people so light that they can't stay firmly afixed to the ground, you know?" Libertarians will, of course, react by suggesting eliminating the value of gravity altogether. After all, they'll say, the best gravity is no gravity since all it does is limit personal movement. At this point, three multi-national teams of scientists will request--and receive--grants to study the feasibility of reducing the gravitational constant. Not that I'm cynical or anything.   Good progress on the story today.  Is that a black hole between your ears, or are you just glad to see me? Daily Persistence is © Ron Collins |
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Sara MacLachlan on the CD this morning |
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