Strings and Sealing Wax and Other Fancy Stuff
October 17, 2000
7:39 a.m.
There is a picture on the filing cabinet in my basement. It is of Lisa and Me and Brigid at Brigid's school. Lisa wears a black sweater, I'm in my shirt and tie. Brigid is very young. We're all smiling. I think it was a Valentine Day's tea. Or maybe a Christmas.   I have a card taped to my monitor. It is a special note to me that Brigid wrote when she was maybe six or eight. The word "daddy" is scrunched into the top right hand corner with the y barely discernable. The word "because" is broken at the U, the "se" continued on the next line. I thought about the trip we took to Disney World last year this morning. It was a fine, fine trip. Maybe the best vacation we've ever had as a three person family. Last week Brigid came home from school. She had been eating a fruit roll-up, one of those kinds of candy that stick to your teeth and make smacking noises. In the process, she lost a tooth. It was her last baby tooth. Despite the fact that she UNDERSTANDS, the tooth fairy brought her two bucks. This week she told me I've been put out to pasture. She wants to go trick or treating with her friends, and has no real need of a bag carrier. I told her the Three Musketeer Tax applies whether I go or not. She cut me a deal. When she was two, I used to tell her a mixed up version of "Puff the Magic Dragon" for her bedtime story. It was the only story she would let me tell. Puff and his friend Skyfox, who was a magician, would save a elven girl or boy's parents from the Wicked Witch by shouting "Boo Wicked Witch, Boo." And then they would have a party, and Puff and Skyfox would go home and go to sleep. I conservaively estimate that I told that story 1,000 times. You may note that there is no Jackie Paper in my version. Jackie Paper grows up, you see. He gets too old for Puff's magic, and goes away. So, I didn't let Jackie Paper into my story. But time passes. And now I see I was wrong. Jackie Paper was there all along. He was there in the brown eyes of a young girl who said "One more time," when I was done. Who gave me hugs when she figured out she couldn't wring more from me. Jackie Paper tricked me. Maybe there is a reason Jackie is a gender-neutral name. It allows her to slip past grown-ups who don't see quite right. And so this version of Jackie Paper is growing up. And just like the one in the story, she's leaving things behind ... just as I did when I grew up. Just as Lisa did when she grew up. Sometimes it pulls at my heart. I'm having problems finishing this, actually. But let me tell you something. Watching her go through these things is one the most beautiful things I've ever been a part of. Have a great day. Don't ignore the details.  I'm not letting go, yet, Jackie Daily Persistence is © Ron Collins |
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Finished yesterday's rewrite ... |
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