Focus, Focus, Focus
August 23, 2001
7:22 a.m.
Sorry to drag you guys again and again through the dregs of this book, but despite a quick two-day business trip, I'm finally moving into the last 50 pages. My work the last three or four days has resulted in a bit of reshuffling of events, and the creation of roughly fifteen pages of new material. I expect smooth sailing from now until the last 10 or so pages, meaning I've got a shot at being truly finished with the second draft tomorrow sometime--Saturday at the latest. So don't worry if you hear this great sigh of relief coming from the general direction of Columbus, Indiana real soon now.   I've been using the completion of the book as my gate to Worldcon. Finish the book, go to Worldcon. Don't finish the book, stay home and work. This was back when I thought it would be a "good" book by the end of July. This was when I didn't really think I would be scurrying against the deadline. But I've been a good boy, and I've stayed focused on the book, not the convention, I vow to continue until it's done. I will stay in the box. Focus, focus, focus. If it's too late to make arrangements when I'm done, well, there's always World Fantasy. So Brigid got this letter from a woman who used to teach her piano. The woman had recently decided to quit teaching to focus on her growing family, and she held a little party that Brigid and Lisa went to. Yesterday Brigid got her letter. I'll not go into details, but it was a very nice letter--the kind of letter that every parent wants their kids to get. When I read it, I told Brigid she should be very proud of herself. She already knew that, of course. And she was proud. I could see that written in the way her smile sparkled without her even trying. I felt an interesting pride, then, too. I was not really proud of Brigid then. It more subtle. I was proud for her. And I was proud of myself, and proud of Lisa. I don't know if any of that makes sense. Let me try it this way. When Brigid tries something I'm proud of her. I get that tickle inside that says I know she's done something. If she succeeds, I'm doubly proud of her. If she fails, I'm proud of her, and sorry for her. But this letter wasn't about an achievement. This letter was about who she is. It's about her outlook. It's about who she is becoming and how she interacts with the world. The sensation of pride a person gets when their offspring sees who she is becoming reflected off others is one of the most interesting feelings there is. I wish I could describe it better. I looked at Lisa, though, and saw she was running through similar emotions. This morning, Brigid played the piano for a minute before she headed off to school. Phantom of the Opera. I shut off my CD and listened to her upstairs. It was beautiful. Have a great day.  Daily Persistence is © Ron Collins |
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Just read Lois Tilton's "Prisoner Exchange" in the September Asimov's |
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