Whatever Normal Is
September 25, 2001
7:23 a.m.
Normal. Getting back to normal. Whatever that is.   Linda Dunn commented on how many writers are having a hard time getting into the swing of their work after the events of the past two weeks. You can count me in that pile. Oh, I've gotten my time in. I've "done my job" by coming to the keyboard, and I've managed to get about halfway through the copyediting job Lisa did on my latest attempts at committing novel. But the enthusiasm has been hard to muster. I think you have to write whatever is hot within you, and so while I've kept my fiction at least moving forward, I've actually given a lot of my time to writing freeform stuff that's gone a ways toward letting me understand this world we're in. Call me overly sensitive, but I'm an optimist at heart and something like this throws cold sea water all over my psyche. Usually I'm a "I command my own stuff, and I write whatever I want to write" type of guy. This is the key to my productivity, I think. But sometimes even an engineer like me needs to just let their process just run. So I've gotten through this past few weeks by making my "muse" deals. Hit this goal, I say, and then you're free. I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating now. A friend of mine once asked why I write. Normally I answer this question with a lighthearted response that diverts the question, but he asked it in such a fashion this time that I thought that would be hurtful. So ithought about it for a long time before I eventually answered. "I write because it makes me a better person," I said. This is a true statement. The past two days have gotten better. I'm hitting a stride again. I'm thinking about the work more. I think that's the problem people like me have. If you're like me, you need to be totally immersed in the work for it to come out the way you want it to. I figure that most writers are of a similar ilk--most artists, if I can be so bold. If I'm not totally there, the work comes out reading that way. Heck, it may come out reading that way anyway ... but I've got no chance at all if I'm not totally there. The past two days I've been closer. Today it worked almost as if nothing had ever happened. Not quite, of course. But almost. And that's about as good as I want it to get  Daily Persistence is © Ron Collins |
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Sarah McLachlan on the CD "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy" just seemed right, you know? |
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