Noble Defeats
February 1, 2002
7:12 a.m.
I keep a tin of mints on my desk at work. I don't think about them often, but I tend to pop one or two into my mouth as I work along, letting their wintergreen or peppermint or whatever flavor seep through my mouth as I go. Yesterday I was enjoying cinnamon when I happened to notice the tin they came in was sitting at an odd angle. I could see the ingredients, and so in a moment of offhand contemplation, I scanned the list. INGREDIENTS: Sugar, Natural & Artificial flavor ... blah, blah, blah .. Then my eyes fixed on a word that caught my eye. Titanium Dioxide. Holy cows, man! I'm eating titanium dioxide! Red dye #40. Geeze, isn't that like some huge carcinogen or something? Magnesium Stearate. Great Googliemooglie. For a minute I thought I was having heart palpitations. But I'm okay now.   I am Titanium Eater. Hear me roar. The draft is complete. The story is, once again, all there. As yesterday passed I came to realize that I feel the same way about this work as I do about this year's Louisville basketball team. Hang with me here. Wednesday night I watched the Cards lose to Memphis. Anyone who understands Louisville basketball will immediately know how devastating a loss to Memphis is. But I found myself feeling really quite all right and only a little tiffed. Last year, you see, Louisville basketball was broken. The players didn't play hard, they moped and whined, and Denny Crum seemed to be at a loss as to how to get them going again. Last year's team had moments of brilliance, but also had so many big holes that the team was--at times--more embarrassing than walking around with your fly open. The players this year are mostly the same guys from last year. In fact, since they've lost two important freshmen (one to back surgery, and another to transfer), I would say the players are the same group, minus the senior leadership. So you might think that they would be pretty bad. But the difference between this team and last is like the difference between crepe paper and duct tape. The players have a work ethic. They don't get upset when things get tough. They play well together, and they work harder at the basics than any team I've seen play in a long time. Still, they lack talent at a few places. Without Carlos Hurt they have no real point guard, and other than Ellis Myles they have very little to combat big guys inside. We all know a lack of "natural" talent makes it difficult to perform at the highest levels. So despite their effort, sometimes they come up short. Yes, sometimes they lose because they are just not good enough. Memphis was one of those times. After the Memphis game Lisa asked if I enjoyed watching it, and I said that it wasn't so much that I enjoyed it, because I rarely enjoy watching my team lose. But I did find it interesting, and satisfying in a strange way. Since then I've come to understand, that I find it fun to watch this team because I think they are learning what it will take to win big games. They are growing, and you can see that with another player or two, this team is going to be a force to reckon with ... next year. In this sense, their losses this year have been noble. They have been carried out on their shields rather than running out of the arena with their tails between their legs. When I realized I felt this way about the Louisville team, I picked immediately up on a similar feeling about this work I have been doing. I was trying to do too much with last fall's draft, and so it had holes that were too big to sustain the bulk of the story I had in my mind. So the work sat there in its big ol' pile of paper and just kinda whimpered in embarrassed defeat. "I could be so much," it whined. "If only other writers would stop writing so much better than me, and if only the readers didn't expect too much!" I cut it down with this winter's draft, and I added depth to those holes. I've polished things up, and given each section the guidance it needs. And so I'm looking at it now through very satisfied lenses. This is a work that does more than what I want it to do. This is a work that tells a story that most people who like this kind of stuff ought to enjoy. This is a work that has begun to learn what it takes to win, and so it sits on my hard drive like a freshman recruit with a little chip on its shoulder. I don't think it's quite good enough to compete at the high levels it will have to compete at. I know it needs another pass. But it's getting there. it's learned what it takes to win. My guess is that I'll find a few details that need fixing, or maybe even a few plot points that need buttressing and a few situations that can be made even more interesting by adding proper and useful depth. I spent the morning preparing for what I expect to be the last pass, and barely beginning it. It bears saying that I'm starting this pass in a totally different mood than I started the last pass in. I'm starting this pass with a bit of a swagger to my step. I'm starting this pass with an eye to the top. So enjoy the moment, Memphis. Your time is gonna come.  Daily Persistence is © Ron Collins |
|
BACK TO 
|