Indulgence
November 26, 2002
5:49 a.m.
First, let me say that I am not now, nor have I ever been, a figment of Brian Plante's imagination. Brian is a nice guy and a fine writer and all that. But everyone should know that I'm really a figment of Lisa's imagination. (at least, I like to think so [evil grin]). So, yes, I've been ... ahem ... busy lately. But I'll not bore you with gory details of the depths of my racing game depravity, though if I did you may end up suffering from nitrogen narcosis. Instead I'll just say that I've been on a little sabbatical. Yeah, that's it. I've been on a sabbatical. Or, as I've taken to thinking recently, this is all John's fault. He's the one that suggested this game. I'm innocent officer, I swear. Anyway, on to the topic that must be addressed. A week or two ago, Lisa asked me about writing. She was wondering about whether I would produce something ever again. And I smiled and said that no, I was not done with writing. This is when I started thinking of the word sabbatical, by the way. I was having a lot of fun with this game right now, I said, and that's what I wanted to do. [aside: I should note that as an engineer, and a long-time Formula 1 fan, the basic premise, physics model, and pure essence of Grand Prix Legends pushes pretty much all my buttons] "I think it's good for you," my beloved said somewhere in there. She went on to say that I was under a lot of pressure in the summer, noting the two books, a major effort at work, and some other stuff that absorbed most of my energy from June to September. "It's good that you're doing something for the pure joy of it." I've learned that Lisa is almost always right. At first I was feeling kind of lazy about it, but I've recently taken more of a liking to the word indulgent. I feel indulgent every time I sit down at the keyboard to play rather than to work. This is not to say that I haven't been working on fiction at all. I've written a few scenes of stories I've thought about, and I've spent a little time working with issues in the first draft of one of my novels. I fixed up an older short story, and done a small rewrite suggested by an editor. So I'm not dead in the water on this front. If I were anyone else, I would say I was recharging my batteries. The bottom line here is that I had been running on fumes for the past several months, and I needed a break. So I took one. Now I can feel the energy coming back on line. You might ask how I know that? Come on, you might say, what does this "coming back on line" stuff mean? Well, it's like this. I run into situations during the day and I actively grab them and begin knitting them into story lines. I wasn't doing this over the summer. When I think about projects I'm contemplating for the future, the thought process starts with "Whoa, that's so cool," rather than a more clinical examination of what it would take to make the story work. I've said here for years that creating structure in your writing does not necessarily mean you're mechanical in process, but with everything going on I realize that I had been beginning to think of it that way in that place deep in my brain where a writer keeps his creativity. I'll admit it was a little scary, but talking to Lisa that day really helped me see the truth behind where I am. I'll be back to the keyboard real soon now. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe in the next few days. Maybe next week. I'll know when the time is right, and then I'll be back into it. As a friend of mine recently said, never let it be said that I do anything half-assed. And on that note, I've got to run. I'm racing John this weekend, and I've got to get a car set up.   Have a great day, and I'll see you here soon.  Daily Persistence is © Ron Collins |
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If you feel like you're in control, you're not going fast enough. Mario Andretti |
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