The 51% Club

Lisa and I are both off for the day. She’s taken advantage of it to get her work out in this morning, and I’m downstairs toiling away at this novel that always seems to be just on the edge of breaking to my will when the phone rings …

“Hello,” I say as I answer.

It’s a woman, and she asks for Lisa in that tone that lets me know she’s a telemarketer.

“I’m sorry, she’s not in this morning. May I take a message?”

“Uh … yes … tell her this is [insert some name I’ve forgotten] of the 51% Club. Please let her know that as women, we’re 51% of the population, and we want her to get out and vote tomorrow.”

I hesitate for just a moment, then say: “I appreciate the message, I’ll let her know.”

To which she says “Thank you, sir. Have a good day.”

I hang up, and stare at the phone, thinking about what just happened.

Am I now, as a man, supposed to fuel this 51% club to take control of our political landscape by encouraging more female voters, or should I just stuff the message into my secret male repository of repressment and sway things further _our_ way? If I pass this encouragement on, am I a traitor? And why does this 51% club want to encourage such a lopsided agenda as to call only women? I mean, she didn’t suggest that _I_ go vote–only Lisa. Explicitly, and by name. I mean, she apparently didn’t even have my name in her rolodex, seeing as she asked for Lisa by name, but only called me sir. Am I to take offense at this?

I am so confused.


One thing for certain, this unnamed 51% club rep has managed to derail me from writing on my novel. Perhaps this is the hidden agenda behind the call, eh?

It’s a conspiracy, I say. A conspiracy.

Dare I say that perhaps we’re all on course to become Stepford husbands?


Okay, I get it. Really, I do. I’m a white male. I get to play the game on the easy setting. I 100% endorse the value of diversity and I 100% support the platform that everyone should vote–so long as they actually have an opinion, anyway. I’m fine with people who don’t know what they’re talking about not voting–but that’s another story completely. Someday, though–and hopefully fairly soon, as in within-my-lifetime-soon–we’re all going to have to come to grips with the idea that pushing agendas based solely on gender/age/ethnic demographics serves to feed the problem.

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